Life isn’t fair. Period. Once you can accept that fact – things become easier. You stop expecting fairness and let go of an entitlement mentality. It’s easier to see the positive and be excited about what you do have when you don’t believe it’s owed to you.
I have a friend who I have known for years. She’s had to deal with some hard stuff lately. But she’s also been given some great opportunities. Unfortunately all she can focus on is what she doesn’t have, should have, and how others are better off. She lives in a beautiful home, drives a nice car, she’s healthy, she looks great, she has good friends and a loving family. Yes her days are busy and stressful and her son misbehaves – most kids do! It’s unfortunate that ever conversation we have becomes a laundry list of all the unfair things in her life. As she has said- this is not what she signed up for and she is angry, bitter and unable to see any good. Her negative attitude unfortunately is alienating her from many in her circle.
I have another friend who some years ago found out she had cancer. It was a shock because she’d always been a healthy person. The prognosis wasn’t good. The treatment was unthinkably hard and there were times when it did not seem she would win her battle. Fast forward a few years and she’s healthy, happy and cancer free. She’s also seriously in debt because insurance didn’t cover a lot of the treatments. The kind of debt that one realizes they will probably never pay off. It wasn’t fair that she got cancer and was saddled with enormous debt. But she’s happy – she’s alive – she has great friends and she can see the good in all of that. She’s made a choice to accept that life isn’t fair but sometimes it’s pretty darn good regardless. Through her whole experience she saw her friends come together and support her. Her positive attitude made it easier for people to want to help her in her battle.
A lot of life is about choices. There is also a lot we can’t control. Even healthy people get sick. Even smart people get laid off. Even loving people have relationships that end and they get hurt. The list goes on and on. But we do have a choice – we can control how we respond to the curve balls that come our way. We can stop expecting life to be fair and getting upset when it’s not. We can celebrate the good and deal with the bad. Expecting the same advantages and opportunities as the next guy is just a set up for disappointment. And chances are someone else is looking at you and thinking you have it better and wishing they were in your shoes!
I read another blog recently and the author wrote – “Life is Brutal, Life is Beautiful …Life is Brutiful”
I thought that was a pretty good way of summing it up! Sometimes the bad leads to much better things. And sometimes it just serves to remind us to appreciate the good. Stop expecting things to be easy or fair and you’ll be pleasantly surprised when sometimes they are!