If you’ve lived a certain number of years, you’ve undoubtedly been asked to be in someone’s wedding. maybe even throw a shower, drive someone to the airport, get a neighbor’s mail, walk a dog or feed a cat.  And chances are also good that you’ve asked someone to do the same sorts of things for you at one point or another.  We don’t seem to have trouble asking for these more functional requests.  The ask is simple  – do this thing on this date – that’s it.  But what about the things we really need?  It seems to me that’s where our support system is needed the most but we are timid about asking.  Requests like “will you support me as I get healthy” or “will you hold me accountable to my workout plan” or even “will you give me encouragement so I keep going with good choices” are the hard ones to ask for!  Why is it so hard to ask for the help we really need … especially when it’s important?  Let’s face it we could call a cab to take us to the airport but we can’t hire a service to give us moral support when we need it.

I have a theory!  These requests are harder because they are less defined and there is more at risk.  What if everyone in your inner circle really did start encouraging and supporting your efforts?  What if your boss said it was OK to take a little longer at lunch to go to the gym and your spouse offered to take care of dinner so you could take pilates?  That would be awesome … but it would also put all the responsibility squarely on your shoulders to succeed.  The roadblocks are lifted … and only you stand in your way.  I think we don’t ask for the things we really need out of fear.  There’s fear of failure, fear of letting others down, fear of being held accountable and fear of running out of excuses.  There is also the fear of what others may think.  What if we ask and our support systems doesn’t think we can do it?  Rejection or criticism is possible.

So what’s the worst thing that can happen if you ask?  You could fail.  You could let yourself and your support system down.  BUT – you could succeed!  You could surprise and impress yourself and your circle.  I have heard a life without failure is a life not worth living.  We learn from failure.  And we can become stronger, better, more focused if we learn from that failure.  Your odds of succeeding are better when you have a team on your side.  Given that and the odds of succeeding… why not ask??  Hire a pet sitter if you need one and ask your friends to be your support system instead!!  If you fail – you are one step closer to your next success.  So just ask for what your really need!

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