Be True to YOURSELF!

May 7, 2013 1 Comment

How often do you hear “You know what you should do…”. Or “You should try this!” The world is quick to have an opinion on what is best for us. Sometimes that is good. Sometimes that leads to new answers and solutions. I had a client recently turn me on to these amazing allergy eye drops – Zatador – which have solved my swollen, itchy, allergy eye issues. (If you saw me before I discovered the eye drops – you know how great a find this was!) I’ve had friends recommend restaurants that have been delicious. Shoot – if I think about it – a friend talked me into trying Pilates and look how well that’s turned out! Some advice is great!bridge ball

Not all advice however is best for us. Not all is true to who we are. While the advice-giver certainly has the best of intentions, they don’t know you as well as you know you! Most of us have desires, hopes, thoughts, ideas that maybe we aren’t ready to share. I thought about opening a Pilates studio long before I did it or even talked about it. I was offered advice from well-meaning colleagues on what my next job should be or what skills I should develop for my current job. None of these suggestions lined up with what I knew to be true to me. People don’t always understand when you don’t take their ‘good advice’. And we can feel pressure to please others around us and do what’s expected. But we can only be happy when we are true to ourselves. We need to trust the path we are choosing and go for our own version of happy.

Even today as a small business owner, I am consistently offered advice on how I can grow my business. I have one particularly aggressive rep. from Google insisting that my business will grow by leaps and bounds if I use Google advertising. I’m sure he is correct in that I would get more exposure but is it the exposure I want? I like having a small home business and keeping my Pilates studio personal, friendly and not intimidating like larger studios. My clients like my set up and prefer it to what they have found at other studios. That kind of exposure could force me to have to change my set up – hire other instructors and lose what makes my business special and me.

I am also offered advice about signing up for another marathon. While I love running, I know my body does better when I keep my mileage in check. The long runs of my 20′s just aren’t the best thing for me anymore. Too many stress fractures later I’ve learned to listen to myself. It’s tempting at times to join friends and think about competing on that level again but if I am true to myself – I know I can remain injury free and happy at a 1/2 marathon or less distance.

We know what’s in our gut when we get these requests or suggestions – there’s that little hitch in our thinking that says I’m not so sure about this – we just need to trust that instinct. Being true is not the easiest thing to do but it is the quickest path to being happy. Be true to yourself and be happy!

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Letting Go

April 23, 2013 2 Comments

It can be hard to let go – of habits, relationships, jobs – you name it – the norm is comfortable. I’ve recently been faced with several decisions that require me to to decide whether to let go or hold on to what I know. But can we truly move forward – make progress – if we aren’t open to new possibilities? Sometimes we outgrow situations or even relationships. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves the chance to be even more or possibly fail. There are no guarantees EXCEPT – if we don’t let go we can not expect to move forward.half teaser

As my Pilates business has grown and I’ve become busier, I’ve had to be more selective about how I spend my time. When I was first starting out I took advantage of my slower spells to volunteer, teach classes at a gym, do home projects and so on. Now, I have more business and less free time. That’s a good thing. But this change also requires me to let go of some of those fillers from before. While I wish I could still volunteer weekly – my priority right now has to be to my clients. While I love the members I’ve met at the gym, the right decision is to cut back my classes and offer my clients more availability. It’s scary to let go of a sure thing. But if I believe what I am doing is right and where I am going is right – I have to take the risk, let go and move forward.

I’ve also found the same to be true with friendships. It’s very hard for me to let go of friends. When I’ve traveled back to my home town of Cincinnati – I’ve come to realize there are true friends who will work with my schedule to see me. And there are others that I have to work hard to accommodate. I’ve realized when I’m only home for a few short days – I can’t drive around from one side of town to the other trying to please everyone else. While I’d love to see everyone – I have to let go and hope my true friends will show up to see me. In the end, I get more quality time with the people who are willing to make an effort and show up for me.

Letting go is difficult but necessary if we want to get to the next good thing. I could continue to teach a bunch of classes at a gym for someone else and watch my business remain as is – or I can make myself available for more clients and more success. I can bend over backwards for people I really like but who may not be quite as invested in our friendship. And while I’d love to volunteer – I need to pick and choose what I do now.

What are you holding on to? What are you letting hold you back from the next big thing? What are your priorities? For me – my business growing and preserving my true friendships are what matter – so that’s what I’ll focus on. The rest – it’s time to let go.

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Boston Marathon – My Perspective

April 17, 2013 Leave a comment

Like the rest of the nation I am distraught by the events in Boston at the finish of the marathon.  It’s difficult to comprehend why anyone would want to hurt a group of people doing good – running, cheering, supporting and celebrating together.  It saddens me that a great event is tarnished and years to come we’ll remember, worry and possibly have to make changes to protect the runners and spectators.

Boston - Quite a few years back! I'm in the black hat and my eyes are close...but I did just run 26.2 miles!

Boston – quite a few years back! I’m in the black hat and my eyes are closed…but I did just run 26.2 miles!

I ran Boston several years ago.  It was a wonderful and exciting experience.  I had worked hard, trained, run a previous marathon all with the hope of just qualifying and then worked hard, trained, saved up (I was young and poor!) and traveled to Boston for the marathon.  The entire weekend it seemed every where my friends and I went we were greeted with “Are you here to run the marathon?”  When we answered yes, the response was always an excited – “They are here for the marathon!  You all must be really good runners!”  We felt like celebrities walking around town, eating out and getting ready/recovering from the race.  I have run other marathons and enjoyed them but never had quite the same experience.  There is just something special about Boston.

I really feel for the families directly affected by the bombing but I also feel for all the runners.  They have been deprived of their chance to enjoy, celebrate and be celebrated.  They worked hard, they earned it and one senseless act has forever changed their Boston experience.  It’s hard to celebrate when others are suffering.  While I encourage you to support and keep the injured in your thoughts and prayers, I would also tell you to congratulate a runner if you know one.  Give them back a little bit of the celebration they lost and lets minimize the impact of the terrorist.

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Dealing with Critics

April 9, 2013 Leave a comment

One of the things I love about what I do is I am helping people feel good about themselves, recover from injuries, redefine their bodies and find their physical and also emotional strength.  While not everyone loves working out as much as I do, I would say my clients are happy to be here in my home studio.  That makes me feel good. They choose 12South Pilates and they choose me.  I work hard to offer my best and keep learning and growing for them.rude

Last week while several of my clients were away on spring break, I covered a couple mat Pilates classes for another instructor at a local gym. The first class went well and I was treated to lots of positive feedback from the students.  The second class – well that was a different story.  About a quarter of a way through this class, one woman got up and walked to the back of the room and grabbed a large yoga bolster.  I always offer modifications and ask students to speak up if they need even more.  This woman did not say a word.  Half way through class, this woman loudly got up stomped across the class in front of me and all the other students.  Violently flung her mat back on the rack and then threw the exercise band at me!!  After that she grabbed her stuff and stomped out.  I was shocked and thrown for a second.  I’ve never experienced such incredibly rude behavior from a grown woman.  She has children and I can only imagine what kind of example she is setting for her kids.  For a split second I thought “what did I do wrong?”  The reality is I was teaching classic Pilates with integrity and attention to detail.  I have long suspected the instructor I was subbing for is not really trained in Pilates. I suspect this class being legitimate Pilates was not what she expected or wanted.  Regardless that does not justify such rude behavior.

I too have taken classes that I have not loved.  I’ve taken classes that I have found to be potentially dangerous and I have quietly modified the movements to be better for me. I’ve found instructors that I like better than others.  I don’t expect everyone to love me or my style. But I do expect to be treated with respect. I would hope all of you would be respectful too. Show your displeasure if you must by not returning.

While this was not a positive experience, I did take away a positive from it!  At the end of class the other students were complimentary.  And I thought about the class – should I have done things differently?  How am I doing as an instructor or communicator?  At the end of it – I feel good about what I have to offer and would not have changed a thing!  It’s good to have that reality check I suppose.  And it’s also good not to put too much weight or waste time letting one critic affect me.

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