Dealing with Critics

April 9, 2013 Leave a comment

One of the things I love about what I do is I am helping people feel good about themselves, recover from injuries, redefine their bodies and find their physical and also emotional strength.  While not everyone loves working out as much as I do, I would say my clients are happy to be here in my home studio.  That makes me feel good. They choose 12South Pilates and they choose me.  I work hard to offer my best and keep learning and growing for them.rude

Last week while several of my clients were away on spring break, I covered a couple mat Pilates classes for another instructor at a local gym. The first class went well and I was treated to lots of positive feedback from the students.  The second class – well that was a different story.  About a quarter of a way through this class, one woman got up and walked to the back of the room and grabbed a large yoga bolster.  I always offer modifications and ask students to speak up if they need even more.  This woman did not say a word.  Half way through class, this woman loudly got up stomped across the class in front of me and all the other students.  Violently flung her mat back on the rack and then threw the exercise band at me!!  After that she grabbed her stuff and stomped out.  I was shocked and thrown for a second.  I’ve never experienced such incredibly rude behavior from a grown woman.  She has children and I can only imagine what kind of example she is setting for her kids.  For a split second I thought “what did I do wrong?”  The reality is I was teaching classic Pilates with integrity and attention to detail.  I have long suspected the instructor I was subbing for is not really trained in Pilates. I suspect this class being legitimate Pilates was not what she expected or wanted.  Regardless that does not justify such rude behavior.

I too have taken classes that I have not loved.  I’ve taken classes that I have found to be potentially dangerous and I have quietly modified the movements to be better for me. I’ve found instructors that I like better than others.  I don’t expect everyone to love me or my style. But I do expect to be treated with respect. I would hope all of you would be respectful too. Show your displeasure if you must by not returning.

While this was not a positive experience, I did take away a positive from it!  At the end of class the other students were complimentary.  And I thought about the class – should I have done things differently?  How am I doing as an instructor or communicator?  At the end of it – I feel good about what I have to offer and would not have changed a thing!  It’s good to have that reality check I suppose.  And it’s also good not to put too much weight or waste time letting one critic affect me.

Filed under pilates, Pilates Musings Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , ,

Know your Body!

March 6, 2013 2 Comments

One of the best ways you can improve your workout is to get to know your body.  Listen to what it is telling you. Pay attention to where it challenges you and were you succeed.  That may seem simple – but it’s really more involved than realizing your legs are sore or your arms are weak. What part of your legs are sore and what makes them more sore?  What arm exercises do you struggle with?

The better you can understand your own body – the better we can modify and build your workouts. Here’s an example – I know my low back can be somewhat unstable if I don’t give it the attention it deserves.  If I do lots of flexion – forward bending and crunching – I am not addressing my issue. But if I can squeeze in some spine articulation, extension exercises and even some weighted glute squats – I strengthen my back and avoid issues.  If I weren’t paying attention to my body – I would miss the subtle symptoms of a tender low back and continue to crunch and flex without doing what I need.

Too often I see folks ignore or fail to listen to the warning signs their bodies are giving them.  If something does not feel right – don’t do it!  It’s one thing for an exercise to be difficult, to make you work hard or struggle – but it’s a totally different story when there is a pain or feeling that you will regret this later.  It’s just not smart to ‘push through’ if you aren’t sure.  ASK!!!  Please ask – there is a good chance we can modify the exercise to make it right for you.  It’s OK to have sore muscles from time to time but not OK to feel broken or injured after a workout.  It’s ok to find a plank hard or challenging but it’s not ok for you to feel sharp pain in your back while you are doing it!

I love for my students to ask questions. Should I be feeling this here? Is this the correct form?  What muscles am I using?  What should I focus on with this exercise?  Where should I exhale? These are all great questions!!  Pilates is a smart exercise and the smarter you are the more you will get out of it! Studies even show and support – the more you are aware of the muscles and work you do – the more engaged and productive those muscles and the work is.  Get to really know your body, ask questions, and I can help too!  You will be surprised how much better your workouts are when you really focus, listen and engage properly.

 

Filed under pilates, Pilates Musings, Reformer Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Flawed

February 12, 2013 2 Comments

Which One is Perfect?

I’m flawed.  If you look in the medical guides or beauty magazines – I don’t quite fit the ideal normal body.  I have slightly bowed legs.  When I stand with my feet together my knees don’t touch and there is no chance my inner thighs are going to rub.  I supposed I could gain 40 or so pounds and have swishing inner thighs… but that’s not really the goal.  The point is I’m flawed.  You probably are too.  You may not be bow -legged but I bet there is something ‘wrong’ with you!  Maybe one of your legs is slightly longer, or a hip is slightly higher, genetically you have saddle bags, or your left side is weaker than your right… who knows but I’m sure you aren’t perfect.  Does perfect even exist?

Knowing that we are all somewhat flawed … why do we still focus so much on an unachievable attempt to be perfect? I could also hope to be taller but that’s not going to happen. There are only certain things I can control or change. One of those is I can choose to be healthy. I can eat right, exercise, build a strong heart, have strong, useful muscles and that would be pretty great.  That could be what perfect looks like for me.

When I was doing my pilates training there were about 10 of us gals in the class. Within the first session, our leader, mentor and instructor noticed I was bow-legged and was all too eager to share this with the rest of the class. From that day on in training – I was referred to as bow-legged. With just about each exercise we practiced our leader would say “let’s see what bow-legged looks like doing this exercise!”  Thank goodness ‘scoliosis’ was also in my class or I might have felt like the only freak!  Some of you may be thinking that that is just awful and must have been a terrible experience. Actually, it was great. Beyond the first instance of embarrassment and feeling self conscious (and I definitely had that moment!) – I learned to embrace my difference and received lots and lots of hands on attention. Had I been ‘normal’ I would not have had the opportunity to demonstrate the exercises or gain as much guidance as I did. I also learned how to work with other’s with less than perfect bodies. My flaw turned out to be a real advantage! I’m sure scoliosis felt the same way.

I embraced my difference and used it to make me a better instructor.  I can now confidently saw to my students – ‘this is how this exercise should be performed but if you have this issue – it might look more like this.’  I am no longer embarrassed or hoping no on notices that I’m flawed.  I’m also more aware of other’s flaws… but I don’t see them as flaws.  I see them as unique and opportunities. I see a lot of knock-knee’d clients and telling them to keep their feet together when physically they can’t would only be frustrating.  Instead. I reach for a ball and put that between their feet.  Pilates is a very understanding form of exercise. Pilates accepts that we are all different or flawed and adapts to meet our needs. Sometimes that flaw might be temporary such as a weak low spine or permanent like scoliosis.  None the less, Pilates can be performed safely to produce a great whole body workout.

If we focused on being the best version of ourselves, not some unrealistic standard of normal or perfect, wouldn’t that be pretty great? If we worked to be healthy and worried less about looking like a model, wouldn’t that be satisfying and a relief? If we stopped comparing ourselves to a photo-shopped image in a magazine, wouldn’t we embrace ourselves and like our selves more? A wise woman once said to me “Don’t point out your flaws to others because chances are they haven’t noticed yet. And once you point it out – that’s what they are going to see”. Let’s stop focusing on our flaws and start focusing on what we can be and do with our strong healthy bodies.

Here’s to a healthy love of your body – flaws and all!

Filed under pilates, Pilates Musings, Reformer Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rethinking Resolutions

January 8, 2013 Leave a comment

It’s January 8th – how are you doing on your resolutions?  Let’s be honest with each other – some of you are probably already failing or haven’t really gotten started yet.  It’s OK!  Many of us make resolutions that are doomed from the get go. We set ourselves up for failure.  We either make resolutions with no strategy or plan of attack, we make resolutions focused on a desired outcome with no desire to actually make a behavior change or we shoot so far beyond where we are that we can’t possibly keep the resolution.lunge

Let’s take a look at some typical resolutions … and then we’ll look at some more achievable goals.

1.  I am going to fit into my favorite jeans again!

- That’s a great aspiration but how are you going to make it happen? There is a reason you no longer fit in those pants. It’s probably diet or lifestyle related. Unless you look at what changes you have already made to get to where you currently are – you will not be able to get back to where you want to be. A better resolution would be – I am going to return to my exercise program, or I am going to modify my diet and limit sugar intact. By focusing on the necessary CHANGE not the desired result – you are much more likely to end up back in those jeans.

2. I am going to only eat healthy foods!

- It’s great to want to make changes to your diet and choose healthy.  But what is your starting point?  Are you currently living on fried food, snacks and candy?  Making a switch to 100% healthy is like trying to go from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds. Most of us are not programmed for that kind of drastic change. This is a recipe for failure.  Some goals are better attacked in steps. A healthier approach would be to add a vegetable to your lunch and dinner plan. Do that for a few weeks – make it a habit. Then take another step. That could be replacing your snacking with a healthier option – cut up fruit or nuts instead of chips. It may be a longer journey to your goal but you are more likely to make this a lifestyle change not a temporary thing. Behavior change takes time and the goal should be a healthier life not a quick fix.

3. I’m going to go to the gym 6 days a week!

- How much are you working out now?  If the answer is not at all – you are shooting too high!  What will happen if you go from sedentary to full speed in a short period of time?  Well – there are a couple possible outcomes: injury and fatigue or failure.  In this case the goal should be to begin a healthy exercise program.  This is where a professional trainer would come in handy!  You would be better off going to the gym twice a week for a month first and then increasing your workouts to 3 days a week and so on. Remember you have your whole life – there is not a time limit on healthy! People fail because they try to make drastic changes.  It’s better to have a multi-tiered strategy.

I think it’s great to examine your life at the beginning of each year and focus on areas where you can improve and be the best version of yourself. But I encourage you to think about setting goals and using a strategy to get to those goals – not lofty resolutions that come February will just a be a distant thought. Behavior change takes time and commitment. It’s ok to start small.  If you need help figuring out a healthy plan – I’m happy to help!

Filed under Life, pilates Tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

← Older posts

%d bloggers like this: