Who’s Taking Care of YOU?

May 14, 2013 4 Comments

Today I had a new client.  I love new clients.  I love meeting new people and sharing Pilates with them.  I love seeing their response as they discover a new love!  I’ve yet to have a new client just not get it or like it.  I’d like to think because I do a good job of explaining Pilates before they try it and because the right people find me.  Maybe I’m just lucky!

Today my new client – a busy mom – thanked me after our session and said “I think this is what I need to start feeling good about myself again.”  This made me happy and sad at the same time. It got me thinking.  As women, I think we take care of everyone and ever thing before we take care of ourselves.  Whether you are a mom, single, or in a relationship there are commitments that come first.  I know I’ve let jobs, bosses, friend’s needs, and relationships needs take priority over my needs in the past.  I’ve put off taking care of myself to meet a deadline, work at a job that I didn’t like and that didn’t appreciate me, or to help someone else at my own expense.  But can we really, truly be that good to others if we don’t take care of ourselves?

When we get run down, we are more likely to get sick.  We have less energy.  We have less motivation and enthusiasm.  When we don’t take care of ourselves, we don’t feel good about ourselves.  While it can be hard to find time for ourselves – we are better for others when we do!  It’s probably those times when you feel like you just can’t that you need to slow down the most and do something for yourself!  It could be as small as a walk and some peace and quiet.  Or a manicure. Or a Pilates session.  Those little ‘me time’ activities will recharge you and make you better able to conquer the next challenge.

Investing in your own health and well-being – both the physical and emotional sides – will yield a good return!

As challenging as it may be to squeeze in that little bit of time – I bet you can do it.  It might mean saying no to something else.  It might mean the laundry waits until tomorrow or it might mean asking for help from your family or friends.  Chances are – they can see how frazzled you’ve become and would be happy to help!

You are worth it.  Make time for you!

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Be True to YOURSELF!

May 7, 2013 1 Comment

How often do you hear “You know what you should do…”. Or “You should try this!” The world is quick to have an opinion on what is best for us. Sometimes that is good. Sometimes that leads to new answers and solutions. I had a client recently turn me on to these amazing allergy eye drops – Zatador – which have solved my swollen, itchy, allergy eye issues. (If you saw me before I discovered the eye drops – you know how great a find this was!) I’ve had friends recommend restaurants that have been delicious. Shoot – if I think about it – a friend talked me into trying Pilates and look how well that’s turned out! Some advice is great!bridge ball

Not all advice however is best for us. Not all is true to who we are. While the advice-giver certainly has the best of intentions, they don’t know you as well as you know you! Most of us have desires, hopes, thoughts, ideas that maybe we aren’t ready to share. I thought about opening a Pilates studio long before I did it or even talked about it. I was offered advice from well-meaning colleagues on what my next job should be or what skills I should develop for my current job. None of these suggestions lined up with what I knew to be true to me. People don’t always understand when you don’t take their ‘good advice’. And we can feel pressure to please others around us and do what’s expected. But we can only be happy when we are true to ourselves. We need to trust the path we are choosing and go for our own version of happy.

Even today as a small business owner, I am consistently offered advice on how I can grow my business. I have one particularly aggressive rep. from Google insisting that my business will grow by leaps and bounds if I use Google advertising. I’m sure he is correct in that I would get more exposure but is it the exposure I want? I like having a small home business and keeping my Pilates studio personal, friendly and not intimidating like larger studios. My clients like my set up and prefer it to what they have found at other studios. That kind of exposure could force me to have to change my set up – hire other instructors and lose what makes my business special and me.

I am also offered advice about signing up for another marathon. While I love running, I know my body does better when I keep my mileage in check. The long runs of my 20′s just aren’t the best thing for me anymore. Too many stress fractures later I’ve learned to listen to myself. It’s tempting at times to join friends and think about competing on that level again but if I am true to myself – I know I can remain injury free and happy at a 1/2 marathon or less distance.

We know what’s in our gut when we get these requests or suggestions – there’s that little hitch in our thinking that says I’m not so sure about this – we just need to trust that instinct. Being true is not the easiest thing to do but it is the quickest path to being happy. Be true to yourself and be happy!

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Feeling 22?

April 30, 2013 2 Comments

Yesterday while I was driving to the gym to teach, I heard Taylor Swift’s new song – Feeling 22. The lyrics go something like “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22″ and proceed to talk about how carefree and fun life is at 22. For about a second, I thought – Oh to be 22 again. That thought only last about a second! When I think about who I was and where I was when I was 22 versus today – no way would I trade places!

While at times it can be appealing to be younger, look younger, have more spring in our step or more time to accomplish our dreams.  The reality is we are on a journey that gets better with time if we let it. At 22, I was insecure. I felt the need to dress like my friends and didn’t have the courage to be my own person. At 22, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life or even what I could do. I had never heard of Pilates at 22. I found relationships that put me second and I was OK with that at 22. At 22, I didn’t have the courage to try something unexpected like traveling to Europe by myself or opening my own business. At 22, I had a more youthful body but I was focused on the perceived flaws. I didn’t appreciate what I had. At 22 I was happy but I’ll argue that I am even happier now at 43!

There is a peace that comes with time. A realization that we don’t need to please or impress everyone else. That it’s OK to be who we are even if that’s different. We can accept our bodies and our talents don’t have to strive to be a foot taller or anorexic skinny. We can focus on healthy and be happy with that.

It’s nice to think about the past. It’s full of memories and it’s what got us to where we are today. But I wouldn’t want to go back. The future is too bright! I’m sure Taylor Swift will understand in another 20 years ;-)

Filed under Pilates Musings

Letting Go

April 23, 2013 2 Comments

It can be hard to let go – of habits, relationships, jobs – you name it – the norm is comfortable. I’ve recently been faced with several decisions that require me to to decide whether to let go or hold on to what I know. But can we truly move forward – make progress – if we aren’t open to new possibilities? Sometimes we outgrow situations or even relationships. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves the chance to be even more or possibly fail. There are no guarantees EXCEPT – if we don’t let go we can not expect to move forward.half teaser

As my Pilates business has grown and I’ve become busier, I’ve had to be more selective about how I spend my time. When I was first starting out I took advantage of my slower spells to volunteer, teach classes at a gym, do home projects and so on. Now, I have more business and less free time. That’s a good thing. But this change also requires me to let go of some of those fillers from before. While I wish I could still volunteer weekly – my priority right now has to be to my clients. While I love the members I’ve met at the gym, the right decision is to cut back my classes and offer my clients more availability. It’s scary to let go of a sure thing. But if I believe what I am doing is right and where I am going is right – I have to take the risk, let go and move forward.

I’ve also found the same to be true with friendships. It’s very hard for me to let go of friends. When I’ve traveled back to my home town of Cincinnati – I’ve come to realize there are true friends who will work with my schedule to see me. And there are others that I have to work hard to accommodate. I’ve realized when I’m only home for a few short days – I can’t drive around from one side of town to the other trying to please everyone else. While I’d love to see everyone – I have to let go and hope my true friends will show up to see me. In the end, I get more quality time with the people who are willing to make an effort and show up for me.

Letting go is difficult but necessary if we want to get to the next good thing. I could continue to teach a bunch of classes at a gym for someone else and watch my business remain as is – or I can make myself available for more clients and more success. I can bend over backwards for people I really like but who may not be quite as invested in our friendship. And while I’d love to volunteer – I need to pick and choose what I do now.

What are you holding on to? What are you letting hold you back from the next big thing? What are your priorities? For me – my business growing and preserving my true friendships are what matter – so that’s what I’ll focus on. The rest – it’s time to let go.

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